How many times have you prayed that God would change your spouse? That He would speak to your husband or change your wife's attitude. I am going to guess it is probably often. I have to admit that I have many times prayed that way. Especially in the middle of a disagreement. "God, please change him!"
Now, how many times have you prayed that God would help you be a better spouse? The kind of spouse He called you to be. Here, I would guess not so much. We all think we are good how we are but our spouse really needs to change. They need to be more understanding and respectful. She needs to understand you need time out with the guys. He needs to understand you desire more attention. She needs to keep the house more tidy. He needs to put his shoes up. We can find many things to ask God for about our spouse but what about ourselves?
We should daily pray that God would help us to be the kind of spouse He has called us to be. The kind of spouse that is supportive, caring, gentle, slow to anger, quick to encourage, trustworthy and loving. Yes, of course we need to pray for our spouse, but just as important is praying that we would be a good husband/wife to our mate. Pray that God would teach you to be a Godly mate. You may be surprised to find that some of your spouse's faults don't seem as bad when we are asking God to change us.
I want to encourage you to start praying that God would help you become the kind of spouse He meant for you to be. Ask Him to help you see your own faults and where you need to change before asking Him to change your mate. If you are not yet married, that is fine! You should still pray daily that God would begin to prepare your heart and spirit now to become the wife/husband you were meant to be. Let's work to become a better spouse (or future spouse) as God would have us to be.
Sweet Blessings~
You have a great post. Many years ago while I was praying for my husband the Lord spoke to me and ever since I don't pray for my husband to change. I pray that I can accept him for the way he is and that I can see why he is the way he is. I do pray for him but not for the Lord to change him and yes, I found the things that bothered me so much wasn't near as bad as I thought, I just needed to understand him better. It doesn't mean that I like all the things he does but it sure is better. Thanks for the reminder. Blessings and love you.
ReplyDeleteGood morning Jenifer,
ReplyDeleteGreat words of wisdom. I'm looking forward to your Marriage Mondays.
Have a sweet day,
Cindy
This is wonderful Jennifer. A great reminder that we as wives don't have it figured out either. Even though the men sometimes act crazy we must make sure that as the wife, mother, and child of God we are stretching and growing into the women He designed us to be. I know I'm a wreck alot of the time so I know I always have room for improvement!!
ReplyDeleteThis was wonderful Jenifer.
ReplyDeleteOne of my most fervent prayers is that I can be a better husband and father to my family, and serve them as God intends me to.
Have a Blessed Day!
Great words! I will be praying that I will be a better spouse to my husband!
ReplyDeleteEarly in our marriage I would pray that God would change him...almost daily...never thinking that I was the one that needed to change! Somewhere along the line I realized that I should be asking God to change me. That's what I do now...almost daily! I pray that God would make me the best and most Godly wife He wants me to be. It's a hard prayer for this very independent/dependent wife, I must say!
ReplyDeleteThis is something that God has been dealing with me about. I'm the one that needs to change. I want to be the wife that my husband deserves. I woman that pleases God.
ReplyDeleteLove it and look forward to being challenged in this area :) :)
ReplyDeleteWe are doing the book "LOVE AND RESPECT" in our Sunday School class. BOY is it an EYE OPENER on how much hubbies VALUE respect! Thanks for the encouragement!
ReplyDeleteI used to always pray that God would change my hubby, but I've learned that I need Him to change me first. Then I continue to pray for Him to make my husband take on the 'spritual leader' role and a few other things. But I've learned- DO NOT NAG!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I learned a long time ago, that the only person I can change is me! Dr. Phil has a whole book on this but I like the spiritual aspect you are presenting here.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Great stuff Jenifer! We have a group that meets at The Fishin Hole a couple of times a month. It's called "Outside The Walls". We are looking at our marriage's in light of God's Word. It's kinda "no holds barred" which makes for great exchanges and discussion. I'd love to read them your blog and a few of the comments. I'm copying it now! If it's not OK, let me know fast!
ReplyDeleteGreg, that's great! Copy away! :)
ReplyDeleteJenifer,
ReplyDeleteGood article. A good marriage is less about changing our spouse and more about changing ourself.
I try to post a marriage article every Sunday and run it until Wed. (And I connect with another MM). Right now I am doing a series of guest posts. (Maybe you would consider writing one?).
WB
Warren, I would be happy to guest post for you. You can email me at metzgersix@gmail.com. Blessings!
ReplyDelete